Q: How can I make my son have better table manners? His eating habits are disturbing to the rest of the family. He's just turned six years old.

 

A: You can't make him behave better at the table...but you can make him wish that he had behaved! How? Meaningful consequences. You have several options: You can have him eat in the kitchen away from the family, or he can eat when the family is done.

 

If that's "too mean," you can tell him what you expect at the table in the way of manners and that at the first broken rule, he has to leave the table and go to his room. That should also be followed up with a consequence...staying on a Saturday, or not being allowed to watch a favorite TV program. Whatever will rock his world. A consequence that doesn't bother him is no real consequence at all (and I am NOT advocating abuse here, folks! Parents should use their common sense in these matters).

 

By the time a child reaches this age, they know what the rules are, they know how the family should behave at the table. Undoubtedly you've reminded him and reminded him and reminded him. Save your breath. Stop talking and start acting!

 

Q: Dear Mean Mom,

I'm having a problem with my next door neighbor. She gets very upset when my son picks up rocks and throws them. The rocks are from her driveway and around the foundation of her house, but they are just rocks! She has grown children so I'm sure she knows that kids just like rocks. Any advice on how to handle this tactfully with the neighbor?

 

A: In a word, no. I don't have any advice on how to handle this neighbor. You and your son should apologize to her. Read the question you sent me and note that you wrote "her driveway" and "her house," and those are "her" rocks.

 

This is a respect issue. Your son should be told in no uncertain terms that one should not take the property of another. Rocks are rocks, sure. But they are not his rocks. And rocks cost money, and were put in place for a reason. The reason was not for your son to play with and throw away her property.

 

Instruct your son to not touch her property again. If he does, have him pick up and replace every rock that he's taken and put it back. He should then apologize.

Why not buy him a bag of rocks? You can buy a bag of pea gravel for around $3.50, and there are other types of bagged rock available. It may seem like a little thing, but respect for property starts young, and you have a great opportunity to begin teaching him this lesson now.